She wants a cabin in the woods 

She wants to stand where nobody stood 

And someday she wants a couple kids of her own 

She wants to make love on a train 

And somedays she only wants a break 

Hey but she wants what she wants

(Source: georgia-darlin, via midwestern-darling)

One year ago today Justin took me on our first date. We grew up down the street from eachother, never knowing it. We had classes together in high school even though he was a grade above me because I took so many electives and advanced courses. He had been a popular upper classmen jock, I was a pretty well liked and well rounded honor student. He says he remembers exact outfits I wore, and things I talked about in class. It wasn’t until 8 years later, when I was 24, and he 26 that we were thrown together by his brother and my friend. They’d been dating a year and she kept insisting I “meet” him. I wasn’t interested. I already “knew” him. Plus, I’d just gone through the end of a four year relationship after being cheated on and moving out of the house I spent two years decorating. She’d thought it was perfect because three years before, he’d gotten divorced from his gigh school sweetheart. I wanted no part. But eventually, she won and there we were…on our date.
We went to a neighborhood pub for burgers, and then downtown Wayne’s (a bar that’s very popular with people our age around town). I was too embarrassed to dance with my friends in front of him, so we stood at the edge of the dance floor laughing quietly as we people watched. I knew he was bored, but he stayed because I was having so much fun. We talked outside afterwards for nearly an hour because neither of us wanted to leave. I remember this crazy feeling I had inside my chest on the drive home…this feeling of excitement and knowing that he was going to be a major part of my life. I could just feel it.
The next day we had our second date. By the following week we were on a road trip to Leavenworth together. We bought ice cream and penny candy, walking around town carrying souvenier stuffed animals and giggling like little kids. On the way home we listened to oldies and he sang made up lyrics. We nearly had to pull over because we were laughing so hard. He tells me now that Leavenworth was when he knew his heart wasn’t his own anymore.
We spent all summer pretending we were just “hanging out” while I was staying over at his place, cooking him dinners, meeting family, and completely head over heels. Though he was so stern about us not being a couple. He “didn’t want a relationship” and didn’t beleive he’d ever want to get married again. After a few months he stopped mentioning that all together. So I’m not sure exactly when we morphed into a couple, because there was no real date or defining conversation. It was just so seemless and eventually obvious that it was what it was. Now we just say it was the day of our first date.
In November I was in a bad car accident. A lady didn’t look before making an illegal right turn from the LEFT lane, and tboned my car at 35 miles an hour. I ended up with a pretty severe spinal injury  and my head had hit the window. I was lucky it didn’t go through. That week Justin moved in to my house completely and helped get me to appointments, got me in and out of bed, did my hair, and cooked for me. He just did whatever he could to be there for me while I recovered. And though we’d started referring to ourselves as a relationship months before, he has said that he had realized then that a future with me is exactly what he wanted.
Justin says he loved me after three dates, though he stubbornly didn’t admit it until much later. I think it has been him my whole life. A year ago is just when we started counting.

My neck is killing me. I’m at work, popping extra strength tylenol and repeatedly heating up my neck wrap trying to make it through the day. Can’t take my prescription meds at work because they make me sleepy, and I have to be at work because i’ll be missing a week while I’m in Hawaii. I just want to crawl into bed!